Do you ever get the feeling that people don't want to hang out? If so, if can leave you wondering what the heck is going on. Are you pushing them away? Are your friendships changing? Whatever the case may be, discovering the source — and fixing the problem — can help solve those lonely, lonely weekends.
Keep in mind, though, that most of the time it has nothing to do with you. 'A lot of people know themselves and how many friends they can keep up with,' says Rebecca Rawczak, LICSW, in an email to Bustle. So if that cool girl at work seems completely disinterested in getting drinks, this could be your explanation.
But what about friends who are suddenly MIA, despite years of getting along? While it's true friendships wax and wane, it could be that you're inadvertently pushing them away. Perhaps you go to them too often with problems, or are really bad at listening. Habits like these make people less likely to hit you up, and even less excited when they do. If that's likely what's going on, don't worry — there are ways to fix the problem. Read on for some tips, as well as other signs people don't want to hang out. If any of them ring a bell, you'll know exactly what to do.
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1. They Bring A Third Wheel
If you were expecting your friend to show up solo, it can come as quite the shock when she strolls in with a mystery third person. Of course, she may have wanted you two to meet. Or maybe she thought 'the more the merrier.' But if she keeps bringing unexpected guests, friendship expert Irene S. Levine, Ph.D., tells me it could be a sign she's trying to dilute your relationship. Think that's the case? Then have a chat. Tell her you value one-on-one time, and explain that it would mean a lot if she'd give you a heads up in the future. If she meant nothing by it, she'll totally understand.
2. You're The One Making All The Plans
Whenever you have plans, it's because you made them. 'You always have to be the initiator, [the] planner,' Levine says. '[And] you have the sense that if you didn’t plan it, it wouldn’t happen.' If this keeps happening, it may be time to assess why everyone is running away. Do you talk over people? Are you judgmental? Putting a stop to these bad habits can make you more likable, and way easier to hang out with.
3. They Don't Reach Out As Often
In the same vein are the people who don't reach out as much. There could be a million reasons for this, so it may require some investigating. 'You could ask your friends/family to be completely honest with you and give their feedback,' Nicole Zagara, LCSW, tells Bustle. Ask friends why they are MIA, or reach out to family for their opinion. You may not like what you hear, but it can help shed some light on why everyone is suddenly so unavailable.
4. You Can't Nail Down A Date
This one is confusing because it often involves a friend who seems down to hang out, but never actually does. This is the person who suggests coffee dates, or movie nights, but can't seem to nail down the plans. Levine tells me they may be vague about the time or day, or constantly cancel. If this goes on on and on, giving them space can help. 'Back off and let her initiate,' Levine says. 'Sometimes, even very good friends need a break from one another.'
5. They Give Vague Excuses
Whenever it comes to making plans, your friend is full of one vague excuse after another. 'Once or twice may be a coincidence if they give you a strong reason, like a visiting friend from out of town,' says Rawczak. 'But if they repeatedly give you vague reasons, 'I’m busy' [or] 'I already have plans,' then they are either a) a covert operative for a international spy agency, or b) not interested enough in hanging out to make time for it.'
6. They Seem Checked Out
Let's say you're out for coffee, and that 'friend' of yours has yet to look up from her phone. Sure, she may just be busy (or rude). But it's also possible she's wishing she was somewhere else. If you think that's what's up, take the time to figure out why she's acting this way. Apart from a flagging friendship (which happens to everyone), it could be you're wearing her out. Do you go to her with all your problems? Then back off a bit. 'Don’t depend on the same friend, or any one person, to fulfill all your needs,' Levine says. Spreading the love to multiple people will prevent them from feeling burnt out.
7. They Don't Know About Your Life
Hanging out with people is 50 percent hanging out and 50 percent catching up. So of course it's totally fine to meet up with a friend who has zero clue what's going on in your life. But if she seems disinterested, or can't remember what you say, it may be worth noting. 'If neither of you are sharing the little nuances in your lives with each other, that’s a major indicator that your friendship is cooling down,' said relationships writer Elaine Chaney on TheBolde.com.
8. You Only Chat Via Social Media
Facebook and the like are obviously great ways to keep in contact with people. But take note if your relationships are almost 100 percent online, according to Chaney. And take an even bigger note if your 'friendship' is dwindling to the occasional reaction emoji.
9. All Your Convos Fall Flat
Of course it's possible your friend just isn't the chatty type. But does talking to her feel like pulling teeth? If so, Levine tells me it could be a sign this person only met up as a favor. Again, talking to your friend is the best solution. If you both agree it's not worth the effort, it can save you both a lot of heartache and a lot of wasted time.
10. They Throw A Party Without You
While I hope close friends would never do this to you, it can happen with potential friends. 'A lot of people use parties to start to deepen acquaintance relationships and read if their acquaintances want to know them better,' Rawczak says. If this happens to you, try turning the tables. Throw your own party and invite a bunch of people. 'You may be surprised who shows up, and that’s a strong indication they are interested in knowing you better outside of your shared hobbies.'
11. People Joke About Not Inviting You
Are you known as the complainer of the group? Or the proverbial Debbie Downer? If so, it can really turn people off — and may even lead to them jokingly (or not so jokingly) squeezing you out of the group. If this describes your problem, it may help to rethink your ways. 'Try not to complain openly in mixed spaces, especially at work,' says Rawczak. Save it for close friends, or family, and go about being the positive one people love to be around.
Of course, you should never change yourself to gain friends. And you shouldn't waste your time on people who don't love and respect you. But recognizing how you might be pushing people away can explain why it seems like nobody ever wants to hang out.
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As the coronavirus pandemic situation continues to develop, you're hopefully doing your by not going out in public much-which, unfortunately, includes spending time with your best buds. While you may not be able to have fun hitting up your frequent stomping grounds in person,. Yes, that's right, I'm talking online multiplayer video games-y'know the kind!You might have a usual pack of games you're turning to during these unusual times, but maybe you're looking for something new to play. We've got you covered; below the GameSpot staff highlights some of their favorite multiplayer games to play for hanging out online. Though, you're welcome to share your recommendations in the. After all, we're all in the same boat!If you're looking for fantastic single-player games to play while you wait for all this to blow over, then be sure to check out our feature highlighting the while you're self-isolating.
Otherwise, read on below! I still think that when it comes to first-person shooters, is the game to beat. Respawn's sophomore effort has phenomenal multiplayer and a well-paced single-player campaign chalk full of that take advantage of the game's satisfyingly smooth parkour mechanics.Granted, the campaign isn't all that long.
You could probably beat it in a single day if you set your mind to it. I highly -it will encourage you to take advantage of wallrunning, sliding, and double-jumping to out maneuver your slower, but more powerful, adversaries. Not only does it make the campaign far more enjoyable, but it will do wonders for preparing you for the multiplayer.And what a multiplayer. Sadly, not all of Titanfall 2's many enjoyable multiplayer modes attract enough of a playerbase-you may have to wait in long queue lines to find a match in Last Titan Standing, for instance. You can still find plenty of players in Attrition and Amped Hardpoint though, and my personal favorite, Bounty Hunt, has seen a resurgence of players in recent months. If you've always thought that Call of Duty: Modern Warfare's Gunfight could benefit from the addition of freerunning mechanics, check out the Coliseum, and Live Fire offers a team-based variation of the frantically fun, one life per person multiplayer mode.Titanfall 2 even has a horde mode called Frontier Defense, so you and your friends can take on waves of computer-controlled enemies if y'all aren't big on facing off against other players.
It's a wonderfully fun way to spend a few hours if you're cooped up at home. Twitter.
Is a delightful game even when played solo, but it also shines as a multiplayer experience. And as a place to just hang out with friends, it doesn't get much more ideal-you can lounge around in its world, driving around and engaging in shenanigans either together or at opposite ends of the map.From there, you can jump into races and other event types to participate in competitive or cooperative events. And because the game is more concerned with you simply participating and having fun than coming in first, everyone can generally play and have a good time. My favorite aspect of this is how, in cooperative events, you'll get an AI opponent with a vehicle that's roughly on par with your own, so not everyone is forced into driving those within the same class.It's a very flexible experience overall, and one that you can take as seriously or casually as you want.
With the ever-changing seasons, a wide variety of things to do, and a huge lineup of vehicles, it's a great place to hang out with friends-and, if you all have Xbox Game Pass, you don't even need to buy it to jump in. Twitter. Relentlessly silly and endlessly chaotic, can be stressful, but it's always a good time. A party game centered around preparing food and serving it to demanding (unseen) customers, Team17's absurd cooking sim is arguably best played locally with up to four players, but the online component works well both for the campaign mode and competitive multiplayer matches.Overcooked 2 is incredibly simple to pick up.
I played through the entirety of Overcooked 2's campaign with my wife-who doesn't play video games at all. The act of running around kitchens for ingredients while navigating conveyor belts and moving platforms can create some tense moments, but one of the best aspects of Overcooked 2 is how it encourages good communication. This isn't a game you can passively play with friends without talking much; you have to discuss your plans and coordinate your movements in real-time. So, even if your buddies aren't in the same room with you while playing, you'll feel like you have company, which makes it a really great game to play online while cooped up at home.Overcooked 2 is available on PS4, Xbox One, Switch, and PC. The Switch and PC versions require third-party chat like Discord or Skype, though. If you like what you play, a furniture-moving spin on Overcooked called releases April 28.
Twitter. I've been meaning to get back into ever since its big anniversary update last year. By all accounts, most of my issues with the game have been solved, and it sounds like there's plenty to do that'll keep an enterprising privateer busy. But really, everything I liked about Sea of Thieves was in the game at launch. What I'm really itching to do is crew a ship with some pals.Though my big issue with Sea of Thieves at launch was a dearth of content, I always had a blast gathering some friends, setting sail, and getting into trouble. It's a great game for just chilling out and talking as you brave the waves, hunt treasure, and scan the horizon for other ships to plunder (or evade, as the case may be). There's a lot of enjoyment to be found just in doing a good job of keeping your ship going by adjusting the sheets and gauging the wind.
In times when I wasn't feeling up to the stress of a competitive game, Sea of Thieves was a perfect answer.Now that my friends are all staying inside, I'm thinking it's time to pick up the pirate's life again. It's possible we might explore the game's islands and see all the new things it has to offer-but I think it's much more likely that we'll just chill out on the deck of our galleon, playing our accordions, talking, and waiting for some chaos to strike. Twitter. Dark Souls 2 is the underdog of the Souls franchise in many ways. It was the only game of the series not directed by Hidetaka Miyazaki, and, in my personal opinion, the weakest entry into the franchise, especially in regards to level and world design.But I won't spend time criticizing the game for its faults!
Dark Souls 2 does succeed on some fronts, one of which is its multiplayer. The game is possibly the most robust in the series in terms of customization, meaning there’s a plethora of ways to play the game with friends online both competitively and cooperatively. For me, the co-op is what especially stands out, as Dark Souls 2: Scholar of the First Sin edition allows for even more online players at once compared to the vanilla edition.Not only that, but this month marks the 6 year anniversary of Dark Souls 2. So, now seems like the perfect time to slap on some headphones, get your buddies together (online), and return to Drangleic!
And if you’re new to the franchise, co-op is an easy tool for beginners to learn the mechanics of Dark Souls by notably dropping the difficulty. So if the franchise has always intimidated you, grab some buddies for some jolly co-op, and you’ll find yourself sucked into the franchise in no time. Twitter: @TheDaveKlein. Monster Hunter World may not have been released on Switch, but is a good alternative, particularly if you have some friends to share the experience with-and are willing to overlook some of its faults. Given that the game was originally developed for 3DS, Generations Ultimate certainly isn't the prettiest Switch title, and it lacks the gameplay refinements that made World so accessible. Even so, the game is incredibly addictive and one of the most fun multiplayer experiences I've had on Nintendo's hybrid system.While Generations Ultimate offers a ton of single-player quests to complete, the series' appeal has always stemmed from its multiplayer quests, and these remain the true highlights of the package.
The game is at its best when you're hunting monsters alongside two or three friends, laughing and screaming at each other as you get tossed into the air by a Glavenus or flattened by a Deviljho. Of course, you have the option to hunt with strangers as well, but questing alongside friends makes the experience much more personal and fun, and it helps mitigate the grind of having to repeat quests just to get that one rare carve you need to complete your pants.Moreover, there's a staggering amount of content in Generations Ultimate. The game features the widest range of monsters in the series to date, not to mention the most weapons and armor to craft, making it easy to see why players can sink hundreds of hours into the game. Generations Ultimate can admittedly be a bit overwhelming if you're not already familiar with the series, but if you have some adventurous friends willing to give it a shot with you, it's well worth diving into. Yeah, I know-I always write about whenever I contribute to one of these articles that polls the GameSpot crew. I play a lot of Destiny to keep up on it for coverage, but just as much, I enjoy its game world.
Destiny 2 is also a game that's chill enough that I work through a lot of its weekly content at a pretty relaxed pace, without devoting a ton of attention to it, especially when I've got friends in the game with me. Playing Destiny is like popping on a movie I've seen 100 times when some friends come over; it's nice to have something to do, but if we have a conversation through a couple scenes, I'm not going to lose track of what's going on.The thing about Destiny 2 these days is that there's a ton of things to do, and I always have a backlog of things to check off.
Apart from the gear grind to get my characters up to full strength for activities like the Trials of Osiris, there are old Triumphs (Destiny achievements) and Seals (titles you get to apply to your character that show how badass you are, as well as how much time you spend playing the game) I can earn from the last two years of the game. None of it is especially difficult, especially because it's old content, but it's fun to do and it's always waiting for me.I always like playing Destiny, but it's best enjoyed with friends. It's also a game that facilitates a good hangout by allowing you to be as involved as you want to be. It can be a high-level challenge, a competitive game, or an easygoing virtual space where you can hang out with other people. So you can bet I'll be popping in for some Trials of Osiris this weekend-and maybe to just hang around the Tower, too. Twitter.
As I mentioned in GameSpot's recurring series, the fun that's in the Borderlands series can be something of an acquired taste. Though Borderlands 3 often feels like it should have come out about three years ago, it still possesses some stellar shooting mechanics and a vibrant aesthetic. With over 100 hours in the game's looter-shooter loop, I can say that it offers some of the most bizarre, and dumb fun I've had in an FPS in a long time. Though there's a lot of complexity in customizing your vault hunter with new skills and weapons, what really makes the game so satisfying is tearing through legions of bandits and other mobs with your ludicrously overpowered guns-and that enjoyment is magnified when you're teaming up with friends.I mostly play Borderlands 3 solo, but every once in a while, I like to team up with friends. What's great about Borderlands 3 is the amount of chaos you can create with friends when working together effectively.
Some of my favorite moments during my time in co-op were when my version of Zane and my friend's Fl4k unleash our unique skills while unloading on enemies with legendary weapons like the Cutsman and Dictator. We tend to play on Mayhem 3, which keeps it challenging, but not so overwhelming, and it's always satisfying seeing high-level enemies melt when our attacks land.While the story and character arcs of the Borderlands series have often focused on low-brow humor that feels incredibly dated, I tend to tune that out in favor of the action, which it always excels at. I'm still finding a lot of fun in Borderlands 3, especially when playing with friends.
Currently, I'm working on leveling up my fourth character, Fl4k, and it's really surprising to see how much the game can change when playing as a different vault hunter. With a lot more new updates and DLC coming this year, I can see myself even more time with the game, and I'm not too bothered by that prospect. Twitter.